Jealous Santa
<div class="trix-content">\n <div>Why was Santa Claus jealous of the Christmas tree?<br><br>Because he couldn't hold a candle to it!</div>\n</div>\n
Audio, Plain Text, & Image Pack
Sneers
Unbenknownst to you, your favorite onslaught of groan-worthy one-liner jokes. Included with copy/pastable text are square/portrait orientation images if you feel like sharing. I came up with all jokes here by myself, though some/many may not be truly original. Either way, citation to this feed when sharing is appreciated.
You may be wondering, "why am I seeing each joke multiple times in every box?" The answer is accessibility. The typographic images are for people with attention span difficulties. The plain text is WCAG compliant for people with vision difficulties. The audio format is for people with extreme vision difficulties or blindness.
Each Sneer has a download package! Feel free to download and share anywhere!
Christmas Aunt Carol
<div class="trix-content">\n <div>My aunt Carol loves telling me about all my failures of the past, present, and future.<br><br>Yeah, she's a real Christmas Carol.</div>\n</div>\n
Audio, Plain Text, & Image Pack
Jack Frost
<div class="trix-content">\n <div>Did you know Jack Frost is a bit of a pervert? It didn't used to go šµ "Jack Frost nipping at your nose." šµ<br><br>No, it was actually, šµ "Jack Frost nosing at your nips." šµ</div>\n</div>\n
Audio, Plain Text, & Image Pack
Blood Test
<div class="trix-content">\n <div>A nurse came to get my blood drawn.<br><br>But I declined so they won't find me vain.</div>\n</div>\n
Audio, Plain Text, & Image Pack
Earth's Prognosis
<div class="trix-content">\n <div>If women are from Venus and men are from Mars<br><br>I'mĀ not so optimistic about Earth's prognosis for habitability in the future.</div>\n</div>\n
Audio, Plain Text, & Image Pack
Garbage Trucks
<div class="trix-content">\n <div>I feel bad for garbage trucks.<br><br>All the other trucks are passing it all being like, "you're garbage!"</div>\n</div>\n
Audio, Plain Text, & Image Pack